The Seasons of life are incredible... I lay here tonight pondering all the great things God has done in my life and how in the tonight
times of my greatest pain, He was there.... Words evade me to express my thanks to Him. There is no friend who is closer than Him. No human can ever take the place of His presence.
So often we crawl through life, merely existing. Life can sometimes deal us great pains and hurts. Hearts are often broken by people who say they love us and often we are left with questions of "why?"
BUT GOD... God has always picked up every piece. I lay here and inside I feel myself screaming to be free. To be free from all the things that have held me back over the years. To be free in His presence. To be free to see myself as He sees me. I ask God to break this mold, get rid of it and allow the person He created me to be to break forth.
Why do we allow the circumstances of life to bury us? To cause us to build walls and seek a place of hiding?
I think to the metamorphosis of a caterpillar and I see myself. For so long I have been held back by the outer layers. God has brought me into a season of rest over the past year. I admit I don't really know how to rest, I'm so used to being busy, but God has been doing things that I can't explain. I feel He has had me in a chrysalis stage. And in this stage, one longs to be free... It's almost as if you can see freedom, yet you can not grasp it. You want to scream for help, but realize that there is no one that can help you, no one that can completely understand every single thing that keeps you in this place. As you begin to truly find rest here, you realize that through all the struggling, God has been bringing you to a place that only He can free you. Layer by layer He peels back the hurts, the pains, the things that hold you back, the lies that have been spoken over you, the negative images that you portray of yourself, and the list goes on. In this place, He is the only one who truly knows where you are. He is the only one who can hear your screams for help. There is no one that can free you, except God and God alone. This is the time that He begins to shape and form us, a time when we find identity in Him and not in ourselves, a time when we release all that has been for what can be. We rest in this stage with Him alone, because it is here that we find our strength. It is not in that of another human, but in Him. If we depend on people to always free us, we will always need people. At what point do we realize that HE alone is all we really need.
When we quit fighting and rest quietly in His presence, we begin to hear it. There is His voice calling ever so softly... "I am here, I've always been here, but you... you wouldn't stop fighting and looking for answers long enough to hear me. Now I have your attention, let me do this work. Give me all your burdens. Give me your pains and the heartaches of your soul. Ask me your questions, I have all the answers. I am not going anywhere, I will stand with you and together we are going break free and burst forth. I have great things ahead, and in this place, I will become your strength, I will become the one that you run to, I will be the one who dries every tear and I...I will be the one who will love you unconditionally with an everlasting love. This shell will no longer hold you, because what I am about to do is going to set you free. I am the ONLY restorer of your soul and in me, You will soar free..."
While this stage has been difficult, I wouldn't trade anything for it, because it has been here that I have truly learned and am learning to hear His voice. I refuse to let my past be a negative, but instead I see it as the stones that have built a solid foundation. A foundation that has become stronger with every struggle, test, and trial.
Not once has God ever given up on us. God, you have always fought for us, you have loved us and you have extended grace to us that was and is undeserved. You have embraced us and loved us unconditionally. Help us to give that same gift to others. Let us love as you love and forgive as you forgive - without expectation and without condition. Soon we will break forth from these things that have held us back for so many years. Continue your work in us and just as the caterpillar breaks forth from its cocoon, break us free from the chains that bind us. Don't leave us here God, keep changing us and molding us until we become what you would have us to be...
But unlike the butterfly that stops growing after it is free, please don't ever let us stop growing... Help us to continually grow in you more every single day....
True freedom can only be found in you and it is here that we place all of our hopes, and all of our dreams...
If it's freedom you are looking for, look to Him and to no other and release all of your cares.. Give them all to Jesus and He will turn every sorrow into joy.... Life is too short to stay tucked away in a cocoon...
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