Million Miles Away Moments

Lately I have found myself writing more than ever! I don't always know what is going to come out when I put the pen to the paper, or "my fingers to the keys". Sometimes I'm quite surprised! As I began writing yesterday, I found myself pouring out my heart to Him and I want to share with you - I do have purpose for sharing:


"Never have I known such peace...Your love is consuming me. Wherever I am, wherever I go, you are there. The longing in my heart is satisfied. There is truly nothing I desire more than you. With every breath I take, I feel I am breathing in your presence. I sense something is different. There is a change in me that I've never known. You are cleansing me, washing me free of every hurt, every pain, every sin. Your love is pure and you are washing over me even now. Never have I known such peace. I've never felt more loved. Your arms are holding me and guiding me and I feel safe in your arms.I feel you pursuing me, pushing me in a new direction - I can't escape your presence. It is everywhere i go...and it is so sweet. It's priceless!God, you are my father, my mom, my husband, you are everything that I lack and more. There is nothing I desire more than you. Nothing! I lay down my dreams for yours. God, let my desires become yours so that I may fulfill the destiny you have placed before me.You are amazing. You are incredible. You are awesome. You are the most high, creator of the universe and yet you love me! You love me! You love me unconditionally! No matter what I have done, no matter what I do, and regardless of what anyone else thinks of me, YOU ALONE LORD, my very creator, love ME! You love me... I am in awe of you! Your grace and mercy is new to me every day. My heart cry is that I never take for granted one moment, that I never abuse the grace that you extend so freely, and that I please you with the way I live my life. When you see me wavering, please Lord...put me back on track. Do not let my feet be removed from your path. Keep me in your ways. Keep my eyes set on you! Keep my heart turned toward your purpose. Don't let me miss a great opportunity to serve you because I am wrapped up in my own desires! Let me find you in all that I do!I praise you! I worship you with all that I am. It is not about me, but about you Lord - Now what can I do for you????"


When I read this, I find myself asking...Did I just write that? Did that really just pour out from my very heart? The same heart that felt a million miles away only months ago? Don't get me wrong, I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't love Him, but there have been many times when I felt so far from Him. There have been times when it seemed He was nowhere to be found. What I have realized is that it iis those "million miles away moments," that brings us to places like this...


I am so thankful for my "million miles away moments", because without those times, I would not know Him like I do. It is in the "-" of life that he defines us. It is in those moments that He makes us who we are. It hasn't been 2 months since I felt as though He was so far from me. I felt like a child wondering around in a crowd of 1,000's trying to find her daddy! It's sort of like looking for that "needle in the haystack."


He was never gone from me. The whole time I was searching, He was right there. I was looking blindly, with my eyes shut...That's why I couldn't find Him.


There are times I think we don't open our eyes, because we are too tired. We feel that we just don't have it in us. It seems easier to remain asleep.


I can assure you that if you will open your eyes today, you will find Him! He's right there!!!Your heart may feel completely broken. You may feel like you are at the end of your rope or maybe that you are holding on to life by a small thread like I did. In our moments of despair...those moments of our greatest weakness, He is building us and we don't even realize it.


If you told me several months ago, that my heart would pour out a prayer to Him like I just shared with you, I would have laughed more than likely. Actually, I don't even know that I would have had the energy to laugh - that is where I was! I was left feeling completely abandoned and stripped of everything, as if He had left me to die. BUT, thank God, even then He was working.

If you are waking today and feel like you don't know where your strength is going to come from, look to Him. Open your eyes!!! There is too much at stake to continue walking around with your eyes closed! You may not even have the strength to cry out to Him - you may not even have the desire or the words to say - Just look to Him. He sees your heart! He knows before you even speak the words! You may can only muster up the words, "Help me Father." He will hear you and He is eager to help you. He loves you! He does not desire for you to fail. He is not rejoicing over your broken heart and sitting on His throne saying, "I told you so." No, He is watching you, walking beside you, offering you a hand to help if you will reach out and take it. He loves you - UNCONDITIONALLY! You don't have to earn His love.


Again, open your eyes - reach out to Him today. Let Him hold you. Let Him pick you up our of your brokenness and heal your heart. Allow Him to carry you until you can walk again. Let Him wipe away your tears - even those that no one else sees! He is truly enough and I can tell you from my own experience, that the dry season does not have to last forever. All it takes it one glance towards Him and two words - Help Me. He will hear the cry of His children. Then, when you are able to stand, stand up and shake off the dust. Shake off what others think of you. Shake off the things that have been holding you for so long - LET THEM GO. Shake it off and start walking. Before long you will find yourself walking in such joy and freedom that it will be the dry place that seems a million miles away and not Him. = )


He is so good like that! He loves you and is interceding to the Father on your behalf - Isn't that awesome!!!


I am praying that you will find the strength to begin climbing back up that rope today! Don't let go - you have come too far! You are not alone and your value is priceless!Your "million miles away moments" are defining greatness in you!